Bill's Obituary
I feel that, as I age, I should endeavour to tie "loose ends" together so that when I depart from this life I do not leave a terrible workload for my wife and kids. To this end, I am cleaning the basement, paying off my bills and spending any loose money which might become a source of debate between those I leave behind. They will be so absorbed trying to decide what size Bankers' Box to stow my remains in, and allocating my sock and penny collections to family, that one of the most important jobs, the Obituary, is likely to receive short shrift. So today, I will work on an obituary which is both credible and accurate.Bill McLeish was born in 1943 and lived until yesterday, when we think he died, but we are not sure. He sleeps a lot, but generally gets up for a washroom visit once an hour. We have not heard the toilet flush for 21 hours now, so perhaps he has left us. We will check!
Apart from his weaknesses, he was a good man! But unlike Adolph Hitler, he could not paint, and unlike Saddam Hussein, he could not speak Arabic. But unlike both of those notables, he was not a commanding figure, and therefore caused less trouble. Throughout his life, he tried a number of occupations, from teaching, to administrative work, then consulting and government work. It was not until he progressed to his last occupation, retirement, that he found success. The hours were perfect, he was constantly meeting the goals that he set, and the commute was minimal. The performance evaluations he received from his wife were less than sparkling, but he rationalized that he was still her best employee (as far as he knew).
He leaves behind a wife who humoured him, two daughters who tolerated his sense of humour, and 6 grandchildren who looked up to him when he was standing.
If you can wake, it will be held on Wednesday morning at 6:00 am at the McDonald's, Hazeldean and Terry Fox, corner tables. A separate service will be unnecessary.. we will use McDonald's plastic service.
posted by bill @ 6:13 PM
1 Comments:
flash in the pan then was it?
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